Narrow Minds Use Beer as Defense for Narrow-Mindedness.

CAPTION: The oldest lesbian couple in history at last legally bound

The news was coming over the little 13-inch screen at my house, on which there are all of five channels. California legalized same-sex marriage, the newscaster was saying. My mother looked up from the sink where she was watching vegetables and started doing that clicking thing with her mouth.

“If being gay is a choice, Mom, then surely you remember the day you chose to be straight?”

“It wasn’t a choice for me," she said, back to the zucchini.

“So, but, it’s a choice for gay people?”

“All sex is a choice.”

“But you just said it wasn’t a choice for you.”

“Of course it was.”

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

"What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?"

"I don't know. You want a beer?"

"Yeah, Troeg's. Thanks."

And that was it.